Where do I go from here...

It always happens like this for some reason.  Everything is going really well and then nada.  I've been going through the whole gamut of emotions. I want to always better the relationship I have with my girls.  I love them infinity times 100!!  Having another child and the emotions that go along with it for me fear, anxiety, longing and on and on don't get easier.  Would I want to do it as a single parent?  Do I have the time to devote and care for him/her because I have never been comfortable about daycare.  Running my businesses means the buck stops here.  That's how I feel about me being a mom, the buck stops here.  I am not going to want to have a babysitter.  Waiting and watching my lady parts not cooperating and eventually not having a glimmer of hope is also not an option.  That's for anyone who says work some more then have a baby, like it's that simple. Decisions that I do not take lightly. Sorry for   rambling.. U hang in there to.  Hugs and Kisses.